If you want to predict how successful a person will be in life, unscrew the top of their head and pull out their self-concept. What we think about ourselves can be the platform that launches us, or the ceiling that limits us.
Some of us have been taught that self-criticism is the way to eliminate our flaws. We cherry pick those traits that are deemed negative and focus on them. If we do this without compassion and forgiveness, we create a biased view that becomes a limitation. Overly focusing on the need for improvement can tip the scales of self-concept and create negative self-talk, the basis of anxiety and depression.
This doesn’t mean we are in La-La Land not noticing those areas that need nurturing and growth, but we see them with equanimity, meaning from a peaceful center. We can also balance our need for growth with appreciation for that which is glorious and whole about us.
What’s going on in your thought process? Are you overly self-critical? Are you overly critical of others? (By the way, being overly critical of others is a projection of your own self-esteem!)
Compassion, balance and gratitude. A great formula to raise the ceiling.
With love, Rosanne
It’s taken me a long time to discern the difference between being self-absorbed and self-appreciative. I think I always shied away from embracing the good things about me, feeling a little ashamed and self-indulgent.
It’s time to change that script! Not that I’m perfect, by a long shot…but I can say this about me… “I am a resilient SOB!” I’ve learned over these years that each test, each setback, is an opportunity to self-reflect and find strength I didn’t know I had. I’ve even realized that the “mistakes” were just detours and the scenery was pretty interesting, even if unexpected.
There are so many distractions in this world. People tell wrong-minded stories about who we’re supposed to be. We spend decades trying to be that person, the thin one, the popular one, the lovable one. We give away our power to other poor souls who are scuffling along just as we are. We seek approval ahead of wisdom.
Without self-reflection, making friends with myself and loving this person, we are on an endless quest for the impossible. At some point, I realized I would never be fulfilled unless I embraced my flaws and my talents and worked my way along the Path accepting both.
As a younger person, I could have had the most persuasive teacher along these lines, but there truly is a ripening of Spirit that needs to occur over time. The fruit gets sweeter as it ripens.
Every day I promise to check my familiar face in the mirror will and thank me for staying the course, for recovering from disappointments and heart-break. I will thank me for loving people without judgment. And I will thank me for arriving at the point where I joyfully offer my legacy to whomever is interested.
I will forgive me for being foolish and immature at times. I will forgive me for an undisciplined mind that sometimes strays from the Path of clarity.
These “love songs” will be sung every day. It would be wonderful to expand the solo into a chorus. I’m listening…
With love, Rosanne